Working Ranch Blog

Inner MacGyver by Brett Haas
Sep. 14 2011, 8:41 PM

As you know from my previous posts, litter bugs are a pet peeve of mine. I know it’s not a trendy environmental cause that certain higher ups can make a lot of money on, but nonetheless it’s quite annoying. I know that sometimes cans and cups and such can fly out of a window or pick-up bed, but I also know that there are a lot of people who just don’t give a hoot. However, a few weeks ago I actually found a use for these non-hooting polluters.

It started out a normal Friday. I went and checked on my bulls and checked for calves in the a.m. Then Kirk called and said our mineral order was ready down in Emporia. He was leaving for Texas that day, so it was all me.

Now, I don’t mind taking a nice road trip ever so often, especially down to the Flint hills. I actually must have liked it more than I realized, because I missed my exit and got to see a lot more of God’s country than I had intended. Emporia isn’t exactly the big city either so I had quite a trip before I hit the next exit. I saw a sign that said “Cassoday 34 miles” so I was hoping I remembered correctly that there was an exit for some cattle pens before Cassoday. I’ve always wanted to stop and eat at the café in Cassoday, but I didn’t really want to drive 70 miles out of my way to do it.

I had to admit I was kicking myself pretty good for missing that exit. You see, there are two ways to Emporia, I-35 and I-335. There are two exits on I-35. There is one exit on I-335. Guess which one I was on? Guess which one I thought I was on? Yeah.

So about the time I just settled into the deal and accepted that sometimes things happen for reasons that we may never know (mostly to annoy me I am convinced), and was starting to enjoy some good cattle country scenery, I smelled anti-freeze. Yeah.

Now, I knew dang well and good it was coming from my vehicle. Just as I smelled it though an old Buick passed me doing about 90, so I figured he might be the culprit. You know when you suddenly smell gas just to look up and see a gas station. It was that kind of a moment.

As the Buick grew smaller into the horizon I knew I was in it deep. That and my gauge climbing faster than the national debt and smoke from under to hood were the final clues.

I pulled over and popped the hood. After the smoke cleared I could see the problem. Thankfully enough the cap on my flush tee had simply come apart. For those of you who don’t savvy auto repair jargon, a flush tee is simply a T-shaped pipe fitting that inserts into the heater hose and allows one to attach a garden hose to the third hole and flush your vehicle's cooling system. After you remove the hose, you put a cap on it. If you still don’t understand, go ask your husband. (Oh boy, am I gonna get some letters for that remark. Send your complaints and frivolous lawsuits to Brett Haas, c/o Tim O’Byrne P.O. Box…nevermind.)

One of my favorite shows as a kid was MacGyver. My dad liked it too, but he wouldn’t admit it. He’d watch it with me, but always made sure he chimed in to ensure me that no one could build a plane from bamboo, duct tape, and trash bags. Apparently, dad was right. So the inner MacGyver in me got to assessing the situation and began to realize that the cap on the flush tee kind of looks about the same size as a cap on a water bottle. Apparently the state really keeps that highway clean or the folks down there hate littering as much as I do. I had to search quite a while, but the polluters eventually came through for me. I scavenged about three bottles and did find one with a lid and I was right, it fit. It wasn’t perfect so I didn’t crank it down too hard. I took the bottles I had and began looking for some aqua.

This was kind of tough. We’re not in the shape Texas is in, but it’s been scarce of rain here as well. I finally found a spot in the ditch where a truck had looked to have driven off in and left quite a rut that had some water in it. If you’re ever curious how many trips it takes with three water bottles to fill up an F350’s cooling system don’t try it yourself, just ask Mr. Owl. It takes more than three I can tell you that much.

So I get the old girl filled back up and off we go, hopefully not all the way to Cassoday. Hey, I was right! The cattle pen exit is there. I pull off to discover that my cap idea wasn’t holding water, literally. Well it turns out that I hadn’t been quite aggressive enough. After it cooled off I cranked her on down and hoped it wouldn’t strip off. Thankfully there were a couple ponds handy a few yards from where I was. I collected a few more containers and topped her off again. After shutting the gate I reminded myself several times that I had indeed shut the gate (so as to when I woke up that night at 2 a.m. wondering whether or not I shut that gate, I could remember that I had shut that gate) I turned back towards my original goal. That’d be a long drive for a gate check at 2 a.m.

I was sure my cap wouldn’t hold, so I filled up on water and headed north. I was clipping along, keeping a watchful eye on my gauge, trying to eye for more empty containers, and looking for any ponds, creeks, and windmills I saw along the way.

If you asked your husband and are even more confused, this is a flush tee and the pop bottle top that saved the day.

I kept waiting for the gauge to peek again, but before it did I was exiting. I drove straight to a parts store only to discover that their coolant was overpriced and they didn’t have a flush tee. I really didn’t want to get into the “two weeks from everywhere” conversation, so I headed on down to where I originally planned on going, Bluestem Farm and Ranch Supply. I thought it quite ironic that the parts house didn’t have the part I needed, but the farm and ranch store did. A country boy can survive, right? I got my flush tee, some coolant, and a copy of the new book by Martin Black. All in all it was a good stop.

So I went and got my mineral, had some Chinese, and read my new book while reflecting on quite the start to my day. I told my wife what happened when I got home. She said she was quite impressed that I could fix my truck with trash and ditch water. I guess all those MacGyver episodes finally paid off, huh dad?

You got any good stories where you MacGyvered your way out of a tight spot? Tell me at thekansascowboy36@gmail.com, friend me on Facebook, or follow me on Twitter.